The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 5 Episode 5

Well Well Well, last night episode of the Hottest ladies on Reality tv didn't dissapoint not one bit. Honeychild it looks like the shades are down and the hands are on the trigger tonight for this episode. When I tell you it was hot in Atlanta this summer, those ladies were packing all the heat.

It started off with the Queen of Shade Kim Zolciak. Chile she acts like that dream house of hers was giving her so many problems. Bish just pay your bills and you could still be in your so called dream house. So she goes on to say she would rather live in a box than stay in that house. Well she did grow up in a Fema trailer ( Thats a READ courtsey of Ms. Nene Leakes) So of course she would feel comfort in a box.( HA!) Now on to the slave, I meant sweetie. I don't care what everyone say , But I hate the way that Kim talks to her slave (sweetie). I hope on her spinoff show, sweetie gets a raise, paycheck for the series and a MULE! Since she is a slave she is suppose to be free, so give her whats owed to her!

All I want to know is what made Kenya and Phaedra go to a gokart racing facility? Chile they know in normal life that would not be the place to meet up and double date. I could have done without that segment, But I guess Bravo had to set this Kenya and Apollo fling up. That soul glo afro of Walters was glistening in the sunlight as they sat and talked on their double date. I just can't with him and the way he looks. Everybody knows (in my Phaedra's Voice) that Walter is just there for free advertisement of his business. Because the word around the campfire is he is not interested in Ms America, oops I meant Kenya Ms USA!

Welp I guess I am taking Cynthia's hair card back, now the first four episodes she was doing a great job with her hair, then low and behold she gives me a ole nasty crunchy its time to get my weave redone kind of bun realness, No No miss girl u need to take that out and try again. I will pass on that look Cynthia, because that is definitely not the business. Hunnie Ms Cynthia must have got a raise from Bravo or that modeling money is definitely making a difference in her life, because she is riding in a shiny new white Land Rover. All I need for Cynthia to do is leave those side ponytails alone, chile those ears are nothing to play with.

Porsha has definitely came on the the scene with her ceiling missing. This child is talking crazy out of  her neck. So Porsha and Kordell goes to the Doctor dressed like couples in the 90's (Where they do that at?) I guess in Atlanta!! First Porsha says she wanted four kids, but didn't want five pregnancies all while she was holding up three fingers. (Falls on the floor and flatlines) I cant with this Bish. Also why did the doctor walk in holding up the first generation Apple laptop, Hunnie this is the age of the tablets, Please get with the program lady with her bad skin. One more thing before I skip on down the yellow brick road. If Porsha don't throw those earrings away with those ornaments on her ear, Those things will downgrade a vintage Chanel Suit. (Throw up)

Ok catch this shade, why was Kandi and Cynthia meeting at the Daiquiri Factory? Chile, out of all the restaurants in atlanta you want to eat at the gayest spot in the city. I guess the other spots were scared the thugs with the leggins, the big purses, and the red bottoms are going to bring down the property value!

WELL to tell you the truth, I looked at this episode for the last fifthteen minutes. I knew that brunch was going to be Everything and a bag of potato skins, So here comes the hot Peppermint Tea. Cynthia arrives first because she is always on time and she is still upset about Phaedra lying to her about the phone call. Then comes in that dang Phaedra looking like a stepford wife Reject with that church lady hat on. She gives Cynthia flowers because she knows she was lying. Then incomes Plain Jane Kandi, Kenya Squarepants, and Blonde Bombshell Nene and the Shade Tree Sisters begin their talk. Guess who shows up late Ms Excuses herself Kim Z-B.
The Brunch starts off with them asking Kim about dates to go out of the country with them. Everyone agrees on the dates, Kim says  I am going on vacation with my husband on that date. So the ladies start having a fit. Chile I guess that wig is too tight on her head because she said she was eight months Pregnant and she has eight more weeks to go before she delivers. (Say what now NURSE) What kind of alien is she having? Chile Kandi and Nene hits the fan, both of them gets furious because that Kim pretty much says I really don't want to be bothered with you WHORES. Nene goes on to say that she tells tail tales and that she makes up every excuse in the world like my hair is shedding, nails coming a lose so she wont have to be bothered with the ladies. That Nene know how to give me a good laugh!

This was what I needed in my life from the housewives this week. You know Less of that Kenya and more of the Valley girl Porsha. I live to type another day. Thanks Girls!


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THE SHADE IS REAL